Thursday, February 03, 2005

Self and the Other


Consuming relationships...Changing partners...Having too much choise...Giving up constantly...The self searches the other in "new" contexts. The Self searches the self by redefining togethernes : dependance, interdependance, love...My favourite subject!
I'm coming closer to an "old" realisation : that love is independant of its object...
I have loved with "return", without "return", I have wished to be loved, I wanted to "force" my love on to somebody, etc...All that without "knowing" what "love" is...
I have a growing intuition that love arises by our state of awareness.
Sometimes in certain states of awareness I see no difference between my understanding of "love" and my understanding of "awareness"!
This redefines in a way my relation to the "Other".
I don't have to be "in love" to "love"...
I just need to cultivate the durations of my "love states" and "my partner" will bathe with me in that "state of love"!It liberates from the question of endless choise : choise has an end when I commit, and my "love states" will be more or less difficult to experience with my last choise of partner, but it remains possible.Sex is the little "random attractor" that fortifies (exhibits?) the experience of love. We are alone with our growing(?) capacity to love.
We are ultimately "alone" with that savage vitality idetified with the body and its capacity to love...Only thinking about that makes me "happy"! I do not pretend this to be an ultimate truth though!
It is becoming my favourite thought lately...That's all ;-)

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